Recovery and healing: understand so it doesn’t happen again
I find it easier to work with clients who are in the grips of anxiety and depression than those who have been through it previously but not recovered fully.
The reason. People who have not fully recovered or those who have recovered but don’t understand the why/how are terrified of going back to that place again.
Crutches are in place. Status quo accepted. Going back is to be avoided at all costs.
An individual will put up with a lot – not sleeping great, not feeling 100%, experiencing mild symptoms, experiencing fear, making limiting choices and refusing to take action – to stop going back.
I was recently approached by a lovely lady who years previously suffered from terrible anxiety and depression. She had recovered from that episode but didn’t know or understand how she did it. With recent events, she was starting to experience symptoms again.
There was fear.
Pacifying and trying to convince herself she was ok.
Terrified of opening Pandora’s box.
She has worked really hard to recover, to build a new life.
And here she was, the experience from a few years before, looming once again. Threatening to waste all that she had achieved.
She had no reason to be afraid.
Had she engaged with me, she would have learned there were certain things she did that aided her recovery. It wasn’t luck. It wasn’t random. It was a series or right choices and actions that led her forward.
Once you understand why it happened, how it happened, you don’t need to worry about having it again.
Sure, understanding the how and why, may lead to some uncomfortable feelings. I experienced the same, the first time I wrote my book, and had to relive the memories once again.
I understand the fear and terror that you experience in the depths of anxiety and depression (read – Take the steps to overcome your fear).
However, it is only by confronting these experiences and appreciating how it happened that you can be free from it once and for all.
The sad fact is the majority of people are like the lady I mentioned above:
• They have recovered from the worst experience of their life
• They don’t know how they did it
• No-one around them really knows how
• They never want to experience those thoughts or feelings again
• They will do anything to not feel like that again
• They will take anti-depressants for life if they have to (read – Recovery and healing: live again
This is why it is easier to work with someone currently experiencing extreme anxiety and depression
• They are open to solutions
• They can learn quickly what is happening and why
• They can see results quickly
• They have not developed crutches (they are in it!)
• They are humble and open
• It is easier to stop them from being led astray by the fear of those closest to them
Although it fell on deaf ears to the lady mentioned above (her fear is too great, so far!), to those who question why bother? Why rock the boat? Why go back over old ground?
I say to you and anyone else.
Liberate yourself. Free yourself from all fear.
The only way you can do that is to not have any fear of it.
To understand what happened to you. Why it happened. How you have more power over your experience than you realise.
Only then will you live free from the struggle.